so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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