i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
