Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
