i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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