what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize