so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
