You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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