just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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