I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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