69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
