My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
