he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
