he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize