whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
