I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
