The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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