dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
