The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The best revenge is premature balding
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
