i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
