need another drink. this is the easiest way
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
