Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
