dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
