idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
