Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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