Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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