woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You can't just leave with hair like that
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
