Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
