A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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