the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
