That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
