He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
