I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
