So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
