I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
