That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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