So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
