yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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