They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize