I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Congratulations! We have a period
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