Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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