No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
