you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
