I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
