I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
babies were throwing up all over the place
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
