If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Randomize
