tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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