This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
