Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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