I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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