I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize