names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
