Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
