so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize