would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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