He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
should my penis look like a turkey
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
