Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
