he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
