Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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