I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
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