Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
