There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
