No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Enjoy the penises
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
