Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
The ass gains better be worth it
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
