oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
