hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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